There is no simple formula to make parenting easier, as every family is different and has different needs.  However, we can at least try to ask our parents, the community, and other experts about WHAT has worked for them. Perhaps, if we combine all their knowledge, we can come up with a good plan that may make parenting a little bit easier. At the end, we will know if we are successful when we see our kids well behaved, confident, and as good individuals in general. That’s the point, at least trying does not hurt, and we can make a positive difference in these little people.  Here is a summary of the things that I have heard from my grandparents, parents, teachers and friends:

Be patient – By all means, try to be patient at all times, as my mother reminds me all the time. How? Just remember that our kids do not know any better way sometimes, and we have to guide them the right way. Sometimes, they just need someone to go down to their height and ask simply what is wrong or bothering them. I have discovered that whenever I react patiently and try to ask calmly about their issues, my kids usually calm down and feel better when listened. Sometimes, taking a deep breath to calm down would help a lot before addressing any issues.

Be Creative – Yes, my dad used to tell me that there is usually a quick solution to most problems encountered when trying to raise children. Also, it is just a good practice in general to have a fun “journey” when raising your child and it can make it easier. For example, if the routine is driving you crazy, just break it by doing something fun for everyone. If the child does not stop crying, come up with a quick distraction (make a funny sound, point a toy, etc.) to break the crying. If everything is going wrong that day, just stop and try to laugh at the moment. I remember that last Friday, my daughter came up with an idea to make of our evening a “popcorn pajama party” for us and it worked quite well. Right in the evening, we all dressed up on our pajamas, prepared popcorn and watched a movie. This was probably one of the most fun nights because I listened to my daughter.

Be a good listener and pay attention to details – This is one of the most important points that my grandmother used to teach all the time, and I now understand the reasons behind it. Whenever I listen carefully to my children, I have a clear understanding of what they are trying to communicate. This may sound very logical, but in today’s world, it is getting harder and harder to really listen and pay quality attention to our kids because of time limitations. When we listen to our children, we are creating a better relationship because we make them feel special just by it. When we listen, we can become friends with them and identify how they are “really” doing at school and with the world. When we listen and pay attention to the details, we can prevent serious issues even from arising (such as bullying, low self-esteem, etc.).

Be loving – This is a point that my mom has always tried to teach me. What do I mean? Give them a hug and a kiss for NO reason. Tell them you love them often. And tell them how important they are for you. All these actions should be done without any specific reason, but the act of showing your love towards them just because of it.

Pay attention to their health – My dad used to say, a healthy family is a happy family. I usually give my kids an homeopathic medicine at the first signs of a cold and give multivitamins daily. Also, I try my best to provide healthy meals rich in fruit, vegetables, moderate protein, and nutrients.

Stay Active – Have you noticed that just going to a park makes everyone happier? A simple run or fun exercise game makes a difference in improving moods according to many journals. The weather is too cold or just not good to go out? Try dancing a mix of YouTube Shakira music mix and all of you will feel like having a party.

Follow a good schedule – Many friends advised me on this one before having a kid, and it really has made a big difference in everyone’s life. Remember, you are in charge of molding your kids when they are too little, and later you can accommodate yourself more to their schedule as well. What do I mean? Try to search for sample mom and kids schedule or/and set your own meal and activity schedule. Try to follow it the best you can, as kids like habits.

Be flexible – This advice I get from my husband all the time, and he is so right. While, we may think that we have the best routine or schedule for our kids, things may not work or go as easy for some reason. That is when we should be flexible and adjust to whatever works at that moment. For example, I have tried to set a nap schedule for my one year old son just like I did with my daughter when she was little, but it has not worked that way at all. It looks like he has his own agenda for naps, so I had to adjust and try different things to set a nap schedule or just bypass it if necessary.

Try to be organized – This advice comes from my sister, and her advice came very handy when I needed it the most. Besides having a schedule for meals and activities, try to stay organized with your life, so you set a good standard for your kids. For example, try to keep the house clean, coordinate meals, and run errands timely. It may sound complicated, but it is really simple. Also, you may need to add some time for yourself without the kids and some time for a date with your hubby. Everything could be manageable if you believe it and ask for help when needed.

Be optimistic or enjoy the present, time goes too fast – As my grandma once told me, enjoy the present the best you can and make the best of it. What she meant is that time has to run its course and you might as well enjoy it. For example, how many of us are thinking about calling someone or thinking about our weekend plans while playing with our kids? Perhaps we may be focusing too much on our hectic lives and miss the magic of the present time with your kids. My grandma also highlighted the importance of doing your best you can with anything you may be doing, as things always have a way of working out. I still remember my first time baking butter cookies with my little daughter and preparing all the ingredients together to start our baking job. Just listening to her asking about why to use eggs, sugar and flour was super cute. It was even cuter seeing her little hands trying to knead the flour. We try our best to prepare and bake them well, but we had a blast while doing it. The result was some pretty decent cookies baked by the most fun and amazing daughter life could have given me!

Here is a link that you may enjoy:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/36-little-hacks-that-will-make-parenting-so-much-easier#1d4mnv3

Spanish version will be posted tomorrow.  La versión en español estará disponible mañana.

Image courtesy of tiverylucky at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This is a tricky question and I am sure that many moms could have a lot to share. Here are 7 action items that have made a difference in my life:

1. Take care of myself first, so I can take care of others – This may sound selfish, but it is not and it has worked very well for me. This is what I mean: Take time for yourself  – read a book, call or meet a friend, go exercise, go for a spa treatment, meditate, write, continue your education, volunteer, work or pursue your goals, and do whatever gives you peace without interruptions from your kids and husband.

2. Pay or ask a family member or /and a friend for help – Yes, it is ok to ask for help! While the person of your choice is helping, you could: Go out on a date with your husband, have a friend’s night out, go to a spa, have some “me” time, attend a class, exercise, etc. Try to do this as often as possible.

3. Organize play dates and stay social – Whether you are working or not, I believe that it is very healthy for you and the kids to stay connected and social. You could always organize play dates with your kids’ school mates, attend b-day parties, and attend special events. If your kiddos are not going to school yet, you can always introduce yourself to other moms and organize activities / gatherings.

4. Try to do it, specifically if you are not feeling motivated – Staying active and engaged in positive activities with your kids is key for a healthy balance. Staying active keeps your mind and body healthy, so do your best to go out. Even if that means to just go to the park or a gym. Some of the best mommy friends that I have now are the ones I met at the park. Here is a list of tips that have helped me stay motivated and you may like to try:

-Educational classes with your community center, local library, and your town’s family events (try to check free classes from your state and town). Please check my page about classes and activities: https://happymomhappyfamilybymoms.com/classes-and-activities/

-Attend an exercise class such as Zumba with kids or any other one that gets you all moving

-Make a habit of reading positive books or informational materials that inspire you as a mother and woman

-Share your goals with family and friends and ask them to follow up on the progress of them to hold you responsible. In this way, a little pressure will encourage you to accomplish your goals

5. Check your health – Try to have a healthy diet, exercise, and schedule your routine health check-ups to make sure everything is all right. Sometimes, it may be that you just need some vitamins and good sleep to help increase your energy, so try to take care of your health the best you can.

6. Practice meditation, yoga, or a breathing exercise to help you relax – This point is specifically very important to me. It is important that whenever you can, you find some quiet time to recapitulate your day and meditate on how you can do things better. Perhaps, you can learn something new to continue to improve things.

7. Pray and be grateful – I believe in the power of praying very much. It just gives me so much peace. No matter who’s God you pray to, praying is just healthy. Also, being grateful is extremely positive to our bodies and mind. When you are greatful, you start appreciating the little things and the big things in life. And this action, creates a positive feeling that instantly makes you feel better.

What do you think?

Image courtesy of arztsamui at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It took me two years to figure out some of the best steps to take to calm down my strong-willed 2 year old boy. During these two years, I read quite a few books on how to approach strong-willed children, and got advice from friends, family, and professionals. You name it; I tried it. In the end, I learned that there is no simple formula for addressing strong-willed kids. As many of these kids are reacting to all the new knowledge being given to them, expectations, and all the limitations they may encounter because of their very young age. Also, I noticed that some of these kids want to be big and strong, and they rebel at the fact that they are still physically little. Therefore, after some reflection on how to do things better as a parent, I have been following four key steps that have come handy: infinite patience, unconditional love, complete understanding, and adaptability.

1. With infinite patience: I now know that I can’t lose my temper when my little one is having a tantrum, and that common disciplinary actions do not really work well for him. Instead, I get down on my knees very slowly to be at his height and ask him what is wrong with the situation. This almost instantly, gets his attention and breaks the first wall by calming him down a bit. Then, I take my infinite patience skill and tell him in a very calm and soft voice that together we’ll figure things out.
2. With unconditional love: I give him a hug and tell him very softly that I love him very much and that I understand why he is upset. With unconditional love, he feels that I am understanding him, while I hope that this behavior creates an everlasting trust between he and I.
3. With complete understanding: Once I have gotten down on my knees and hugged him lovingly, I ask more questions about his feelings and tell him that it does not matter what happens, we can figure things together because I love him very much and want to help.
4. With adaptability: I combine what I already know with new information that continues to build a relationship of trust and empathy between the two of us.

While these little steps have worked for me lately, I am well aware that I have a lot to learn as my little one gets older, but I believe that we are getting a good start so far.

Let’s see…what do you think? What has worked for you? I am looking forward to learning more about what other mommies do with their strong-willed children.

En Español

Los Pasos que Tomo para Educar a mi Nene de Voluntad Firme

Me ha tomado casi dos años para realmente aprender cómo educar a mi niño de 2 años de voluntad firme. En estos dos años, he leído muchos libros, escuchado consejos de mi familia, amigos, profesionales, y cuanto más. Al final lo que aprendí es que no hay una fórmula secreta para educarlos o calmarlos, y que ellos realmente están reaccionando a tanta cosa nueva que los papas les están enseñando, a las expectativas, y a sus limitaciones físicas, ya que son muy chicos de edad. Es algo como cuando uno está chiquito y quiere ser grande y fuerte. Lo curioso es que estos nenes saben que todavía están chiquitos, y se rebelan ante su realidad. Es así que después de un poco de reflexión y el conocimiento que uno aprende como mama de todos lados, yo ahora estoy siguiendo unos pasos muy específicos. Estos pasos que aprendí durante el proceso de ser mama consisten de tener una paciencia infinita, un amor incondicional, una completa comprensión, y adaptabilidad.

1. Sobre paciencia infinita: Cuando el nene esta con un gran berrido, yo por lo general trato de hincarme y bajarme a su nivel físicamente, mientras que le digo muy cariñosamente y le pregunto qué es lo que está pasando. Esto casi instantáneamente lo calma, y ayuda a romper la primera muralla para calmarlo un poquito. Ya después, practico mi talento de paciencia infinita y le digo que juntos sabremos cómo resolver lo que está pasando con una voz llena de paz y tranquilidad.
2. Con un amor incondicional: Le doy un abrazo muy cariñoso y le digo que lo quiero mucho y que entiendo porque él está enojado. De esta forma yo le muestro empatía y comprensión, mientras que espero que con este comportamiento, yo establezca una relación infinita de confianza entre él y yo.
3. Con una comprensión completa: Ya después de haberme puesto de rodillas para estar a su nivel y haberle dado un abrazo, le digo que no importa lo que pase, que nosotros sabremos cómo resolver los problemas juntos porque lo queremos y deseamos ayudarlo.
4. Con adaptabilidad: Ya así, siempre trato de adaptar todo lo que he aprendido para educarlo mientras que agrego otras cosas nuevas que creo que van a ayudar para continuar creando una relación de empatía, amor, y confianza entre los dos. Sin embargo, estoy consciente de que tendré que cambiar mis pasos para educarlo, pero creo que estoy empezando por un buen camino al seguir algunos de estos pasitos. Vamos a ver que pasa…

¿Y ustedes, qué hacen? ¿Qué es lo mejor que les ha funcionado con niños de voluntad firme? Yo espero aprender mucho más sobre otras mamas y su sabiduría infinita. ¡Gracias!

By Emily Kielhorn

This holiday season I am working on building traditions for my little family. My son is almost a year old, and I want him to grow up with a solid set of traditions, so I am starting them now. Having traditions can give kids stability and structure, teach them about their cultural identity or heritage, help them see that they are part of something bigger than themselves, and give them wonderful memories.

For my family’s Thanksgiving tradition, we gather with family to celebrate with each other. Family doesn’t have to mean just blood relatives; we include friends and other people that are in our inner circle, as well as others that might not have a place to go for Thanksgiving. Our family Thanksgiving tradition includes cooking and eating a meal together, sharing laughter, and usually watching football on TV while the kids play in the living room. Other holiday traditions could include: baking cookies, decorating your apartment, going to a movie, “camping” under the Christmas tree, volunteering at the local shelter, or reading a special book together. Or, consider taking your traditions on the road by visiting a senior center or assisted living facility.

Do you have anything planned for this holiday season? What are your family traditions?

En Español

¿Cómo Celebras el Día de Acción de Gracias? Por Emily Kielhorn, Traducido por Ana Quinones

En este día festivo, yo estoy tratando de construir tradiciones especiales para mi pequeña familia . Mi hijo casi tiene un año, y yo quisiera criarlo con las tradiciones típicas de mi cultura Estadounidense, así que en este día festivo tengo la oportunidad de hacerlo. Yo creo que el tener y celebrar estas tradiciones con ellos les crea una estabilidad y estructura a los nenes, ademas que estas tradiciones les pueden enseñar sobre su identidad de cultura y su herencia, incluso estas mismas tradiciones les enseña que ellos son parte de algo más grande que ellos, y que al final les dará recuerdos inolvidables.

Para mi familia en el día de Acción de Gracias, nos encanta reunirnos para celebrarnos los unos a los otros. Los miembros de la familia que son parte de este evento no son tan solo familiares de sangre, pero amigos y otras personas que son parte de nuestra comunidad o que simplemente no tenían nadie con quien pasar este día tan especial. Las tradiciones de nuestra familia durante este día festivo incluye cocinar y comer una rica comida todos juntos, compartir una sonrisa, y usualmente ver un juego de Futbol Americano en la televisión, mientras todos los nenes juegan en la sala. Otras tradiciones durante este día incluyen: hornear galletas, decorar tu casa o apartamento, ir a ver una película, “campar” bajo el árbol de Navidad, trabajar como voluntaria en un centro de necesitados, o el tan solo leer un libro en familia todos juntos. Otras veces, algunos Norte Americanos consideran la opción de tomar todo un día para visitar centros de ancianos u hospicios.

¿Y ustedes, que tienen planeado para este día de Acción de Gracias? ¿Cuáles son las tradiciones de tu familia para celebrar este día tan especial en los Estados Unidos?

Last year, I wrote some advice on self-esteem that worked well for my children, but after trial and error, I discovered that just providing quality attention to my children would help significantly. As time passes, I realize that parents and kids get very busy with daily events such as school, extra-curricular activities, meals, etc., that there is very little time left to provide QUALITY attention to kids. What do I mean by quality attention? I mean sitting down and playing a game with your children. I mean being fully engaged, playing parents-kids tag game, getting down on the floor with your kids and playing with little cars or dolls. And, I mean enjoying the activity and being present with your mind, body, and soul at that moment. Very often, I find it hard to find the time to do these activities with my kids, but when I dedicate the time, I can see the extra smiles and increased confidence in my kids. As tired as I might be, spending this quality time with them is totally worth it for me. When they see that I am spending time with them it makes them feel important because they realize that they are worth my time. Consequently, chances are that if you make them feel important, and that you enjoy spending time with them, their self-esteem may start to improve.  What do you think?  What has worked for you?

Los Niños y la Autoestima

El año pasado escribí un artículo sobre los niños y la autoestima que me ayudo de alguna manera, pero después de tratar diferentes métodos, me di cuenta que el tan solo pasar tiempo de calidad con ellos bastaba para ver un cambio positivo en su autoestima. La rutina diaria es muy rápida con tantas actividades de la escuela, clases extracurriculares, las comidas, etc., que la verdad deja muy poquito tiempo de calidad de padres a hijos. ¿Y que es a lo que me refiero sobre calidad de tiempo? Me refiero al hecho de sentarse a jugar un juego de mesa, a sentarse en el piso a jugar con los carritos o las muñecas, y hacerlo estando presente con el corazón y el alma de manera divertida. A menudo, a mí me cuesta trabajo encontrar ese tiempo de calidad para mis hijos, pero cuando lo dedico, yo puedo ver esas sonrisas y seguridad en mis hijos. Creo que la razón se debe a que si ellos ven que yo les dedico tiempo de calidad, yo los hago sentir importantes, porque les transmito que ese tiempo que paso con ellos vale oro. Por consecuencia, tal vez si los llego hacer sentir importantes y les hago saber que yo realmente disfruto pasar tiempo con ellos, su autoestima mejore con el tiempo. Y ustedes, ¿Que hacen? ¿Que has hecho para mejorar la autoestima de tus hijos?

How to Manage Strong-willed Children

This is a much-debated topic, but I’d like to share what has worked for me lately. I have a very active two year old son with a very strong-willed temperament. My husband and I believe that it comes mostly from the fact that he has a little speech delay, and that he vents his frustration with not being able to speak clearly by crying for most things. At first, it was very frustrating and challenging for us to understand him. My husband and I wondered if it was genetic; my father had a very emotional personality, and my father-in-law reminds me of Rambo. After trying many different methods, reading lots of books, and talking with other parents, we learned the following:

As a parent of a strong-willed child, you need to remain very patient at all times – We realized that we have to be patient. It might sound very logical, but it is very easy to lose your patience when your child cries about everything (diaper changes, feeding, choosing utensils, putting on shoes, choosing clothing, candy requests, and the list goes on). Basically, you need to channel your inner Gandhi or Mother Teresa. Go with the flow, breath in and out and ask PATIENTLY and SOFTLY what your child needs. I can almost guarantee that if he or she sees you in control of your own emotions and the situation, your child will calm down almost instantly. Your calm and patient behavior has to be loving, natural, and real, as kids are very smart and will know if your change in behavior is real or not.

Have fun or be funny with the process – Once you are calm and in control, add a dose of fun or goofy behavior to the process. Being goofy and funny will change your child’s crying and he will give you that life-changing smile that you are dying to see on your little one. For example, I have a little Elmo stuffed animal that I pretend to feed when my son is crying and whining about not wanting to eat. What works with my Elmo is that he actually “talks” and “feeds” him (of course I am imitating the Elmo’s voice while doing it☺). This game has worked wonders for getting my son to participate in things he was initially resisting.

Negotiate – Yes, believe it or not, toddlers love negotiation because it makes them feel like they are making the decision to do something. We usually offer two or three options for many things, and that has worked pretty well with my son. Also, they should never feel that they are being controlled by parents. Our job is to make them feel that THEY are in control of the situation. In this way, you are making him feel in charge (in control) and trusted. It is like that phrase that says: “follow the flow of the river, do not force it from its natural path.” Plus, you will get one of those beautiful smiles that you work so hard to get.

Discipline and follow-through – This is extremely important for me and my husband. It is a work in progress, but following through with what you say is extremely important. If we follow through, we will win their trust and they will learn that there are limits to their bad behavior. Whatever you promised or said that you would do, you HAVE to do it, so they see that you keep your word. For example: When my Alex won’t stop crying because he does not want to do something, I just calmly tell him that because he is crying I will need to leave and that when he is ready to talk calmly about his needs, I will come back. At first, it was very hard to do it, as it hurt so much to see the tears well up in those beautiful eyes and roll down his super chubby, adorable cheeks, but I found the strength to do it. They say it takes approximately one month for a child to understand that crying is not a good resource. Following through and being consistent seems to be working for us, as Alex is crying less and less when he sees that he has no audience to stay and listen.

Show unconditional love – Although we may believe that we are providing unconditional love to our kids, are we showing it genuinely? Are we really encouraging and being patient when dealing with all the tantrums and crying? Usually, when nothing has worked (not even Elmo), I kneel down at his level and ask very patiently and lovingly what he needs. I assure him that no matter what is happening, we will figure things out and work together to solve any problem. Then I hug him and tell him that I love him so much! This point has given my husband and I the most beautiful smiles and hugs that make our parenting so worth it.

What about you, what has worked for you? Do you have any advice?

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En Español

¿Cómo Criar un Niño de Voluntad Firme?

Este es un tema tal vez bastante complicado, pero yo les voy a compartir lo que yo he hecho y me ha ayudado bastante con mi hijo. Empezando por el hecho de que tengo un niño de dos años muy travieso y alegre, pero demasiado fuerte de carácter y voluntad firme, factor que no me ayuda para nada a manejar su personalidad. Mi esposo y yo pensamos que el problema viene a consecuencia de que mi nene de dos años no habla mucho y es por esto que se frustra y recurre al llorar para manifestarlo de alguna forma. También, mi error consistía en que quería controlar a este niño. Yo me decía a mí misma que él tenía que seguir mi estrategia y reglas, pero niños de voluntad firme generalmente no reaccionan bien al control o demasiadas reglas. También, mi esposo y yo pensamos que tal vez el carácter de mi hijo está basado en los genes que heredo de mi papa tan emocional o la personalidad de Rambo del papa de mi esposo. De cualquier forma, nosotros empezamos a asesorarnos con libros, preguntándoles a otros papas, entre otros métodos. Al final, esto es lo que aprendimos y nos ha estado funcionando:

Ten mucha paciencia – Con este tipo de niños necesitas mucha, pero mucha paciencia.  Esto puede sonar muy lógico, pero es muy fácil perder la paciencia cuando estos nenes para todo lloran (cambiarles el panal, darles de comer, escoger la ropa). Básicamente, tienes que tener la paciencia que tenía Gandhi o la Madre Teresa y seguir el ritmo natural sin perder la paciencia y dentro de los limites. Respirar profundo y preguntarles pacientemente y en control que es lo que necesitan, los va a calmar casi instantáneamente. Yo casi te puedo garantizar, que si tú eres amorosa y paciente con él, él va a cambiar su actitud contigo, pero este cambio tiene que ser sincero y genuino, porque ellos se dan cuenta cuando el cambio no es real (casi que lo sienten).

Diviértete en el proceso o hazlo divertido – Después de estar calmado y tranquilo, agrégale una cucharada de alegría y diversión, y todo por lo general sale mejor. Yo note, que cuando era divertida y chistosa al tratar de comunicarme con él, el instantáneamente paraba de llorar y me daba esa sonrisa tan hermosa que siempre espero como mama. Por ejemplo: Yo tengo un Elmo de peluche que “habla” y “Juega”. Yo imito la voz chistosa de Elmo y con este muñeco le doy de comer y lo ayudo  a inspirar a mi hijo a hacer otras cosas o seguir instrucciones que necesito que el siga para su crianza. Todo el proceso lo hago, agregando esta cucharada de diversión y yo de pasada me divierto con sus caritas y risas.

Negociación y control – Es muy importante que negocies con él, para que se sienta que él decide que va o no va. Yo usualmente le ofrezco de dos a tres opciones, y esta táctica ha funcionado muy bien, porque esto lo hace sentir en control y le hace saber que confías en sus decisiones. La clave aquí, es que los niños de voluntad firme no les gusta el control o que los controles y si tu dejas el control a un lado y sigues el flujo de las cosas naturalmente, el automáticamente se calmara. Además de que obtendrás a cambio otra sonrisa que tanto buscas.

Consistencia, disciplina y determinación – Creo que este punto es demasiado importante ya que creo que es importante que tu hijo sepa que estas en serio cuando le llamas la atención. Es algo difícil para mí y mi esposo hacerlo, pero estamos trabajando en este punto todavía. Sin embargo, yo creo que si uno como padre cumple lo que dice, uno se gana la confianza de nuestros hijos y de paso ellos aprenden que hay límites de tolerancia cuando hay un mal comportamiento. Es importante reconocer que cualquier cosa que uno prometa, la tenemos que cumplir para que ellos nos tomen en serio y así ganarnos su confianza. Por ejemplo, cuando Alex empieza a llorar sin razón o para darnos la contraria, yo tan solo le digo que tengo que irme y que regresare cuando el este más calmado y pueda hablar sin llorar. Al principio era muy difícil hacer esto de irme del lugar donde estaba llorando, y verlo sufrir con esas lagrimitas paseándose por esos cachetitos tan hermosos. Pero al final yo sabía que lo tenía que hacer para ponerle límites, y enseñarle que el llorar no era una opción para lograr las cosas. El cambio de mi hijo hacia este comportamiento tomo algunos días, pero ha resultado positivo porque él se da cuenta que ya no tiene una audiencia que lo escuche con los lloridos o caprichos. Algunos libros usualmente señalan que toma como un mes para que los niños se acostumbren a esta estrategia si se hace consistentemente.

Demuéstrales un amor incondicional – Aunque nosotros creamos que estamos dándoles todo el amor del mundo, ¿es este amor realmente genuino y natural? ¿Es nuestro sistema de educación para con ellos de inspiración y paciencia? Usualmente, cuando ya nada me ha funcionado (ni mi Elmo), yo tan solo me hinco de rodillas ante mi Alex y le digo que juntos encontraremos la solución del problema no importa lo que esté pasando. En ese preciso momento lo abrazo fuertemente y le digo que lo quiero con todo mi corazón. Es ahí, cuando mi esposo y yo recibimos las muestras más bonitas de cariño de nuestro hijo que le da el significado más grande al habernos hecho sus padres.

¿Qué opinas? ¿Qué te ha funcionado con tu hijo de voluntad firme?

Today, my daughter was as friendly and sweet as always, but I noticed that she was dying for my attention.  Usually, I pay some attention, but I have to divide my time with her and the little one, and then “quality “ attention is compromised. However, this time, I noticed she really wanted to communicate something, and I realized she needed both my ears and heart. Then, I played all the games she requested, answer her 100 questions, and we giggled about the goofy answers I gave to her about things. Then, it was my turn to ask questions and noticed how she would answer them. I started asking about how her day was and if she played with her friends. Then, the real true came out. It seems like her friends did not want to play any of her games, and she felt at times lonely. She confided me that sometimes if she did not play her friends’ game, she will end up playing games on her own. Then I realized how important is for me to explain about her options: be flexible by playing her friends games sometimes, or have her make her own game and have fun that way.  I explained to her that no matter what happens, I would always love to play all her games. I told her that I would always be there for her and that she could confide in me.  After this talk, she hugged me tightly and said, “I love you mommy”.  At that moment, I promised myself to pay quality attention to my daughter and be there for her when she needs me. In this way, I could identify any problems and try to help her understand and solve any issues before they become bigger ones. Anyhow, the best part of all of this was her hug and loving words that meant the world to me and made us get closer!

En Español

La Importancia de darles Atención de Calidad a tus Hijos

Este día, mi hija fue tan dulce y amigable como siempre, pero de cualquier manera note algo diferente en su comportamiento. La verdad que darle una atención de calidad a mi hija me cuesta trabajo porque esta atención la tengo que dividir entre mi pequeño hijo y ella. De cualquier manera me di cuenta que ella me necesitaba y decidí darle toda mi atención. Así que decidí jugar todos sus juegos, contestar las 100 preguntas de manera divertida y chistosa para que se alegrara un poquito. Fue entonces que llego mi turno y le empecé a hacer mis preguntas sobre qué tal le fue en la escuela y que si había jugado bien con sus amiguitas. Y fue así que me confeso que algunas veces sus amiguitas de la escuela no querían jugar todos sus juegos y que a veces jugaba solita. Yo le explique que ella tenia varias opciones: jugar los juegos de sus amigas y ser flexible o jugar solita a veces no tenía nada de malo. También le comente, que yo estaría ahí para jugar con ella todos los juegos del mundo, no importara que pasara y que ella podía confiar en mi para todo. Me cerciore que entendiera que yo soy su amiga además de ser su mama. En ese momento ella me dijo con un fuerte abrazo,” te quiero mucho mama”. Y fue en ese momento que me prometí a mí misma que de ahora en adelante le pondría atención de calidad para tratar de trabajar con ella cualquier problemas y prevenir que cualquier cosa se hagan más grande de lo que debe. Lo mejor de todo este fue su abrazo y sus palabras amorosas que nos hicieron acercarnos más como mama e hija!

I am fairly new to celebrating Thanksgiving in the United States, but I feel like this celebration has been part of me forever. I am amazed and impressed by this Holiday that unites millions of families specifically to celebrate family and give thanks for everything. The history behind the Thanksgiving Holiday, when the first Pilgrims from Europe came to North America and the Native Americans shared food and gave thanks for their harvest, makes it even more special. Also, during this Holiday, people like to give thanks for everything they have by appreciating the big and small things in life. You can feel the energy and magic that people feel on Thanksgiving Day. A very special celebration!!

Winter is around the corner and the very cold weather is here to stay, so my kids and I are starting to take the necessary steps to try our best to stay healthy and flu-free during these cold times. Here are a few things that I have done to prevent the usual illness caused by the cold weather:

1. Take a multivitamin and try to eat a balanced diet rich in fruit (specifically vitamin c) and vegetables
2. Drink plenty of water – If you do not like plain water, you can always flavor the water with a slice of lemon or other fruit, but try to drink plenty of liquids
3. Dress very warm – Even if that means that you have to be covered from head to toe
4. As soon as one of us feels the first symptoms of a cold or flu, we start taking a couple of alternative supplements that are usually available in most natural food grocery stores (always check with your doctor before taking any medications or supplements) –

– Oscillococcinum: http://www.oscillo.com/

– Sambucus: http://www.naturesway.com/Sambucus-Syrup-4-fluid-oz

– Airborne: http://www.airbornehealth.com/

5. Stay active – This can be hard, especially when it is too cold to be outside, but just walking indoors at a mall or running around the house playing hide and seek with the kids helps.
6. Wash your hands as soon as you arrive home.

What about you? What do you do to stay healthy?

En Español

Como mantenerse sano con la familia cuando el clima está muy frio

El invierno esta a la vuelta de la esquina y las temperaturas muy frías están aquí para quedarse, y mis hijos y yo estamos tomando los pasos necesarios para mantenernos saludables y sin resfríos.  Los siguientes puntos son los que he seguido y me han funcionado bastante:

1. Toma tus vitaminas y mantén una dieta rica en frutas (especialmente en vitamina c) y vegetales
2. Toma agua, mucha agua – Si a ti no te gusta mucho el agua sin saborcito, agrégale un poquito de jugo para darle más sabor.
3. Abrígate bastante – Aunque signifique que tengas que estar arropada desde los pies hasta la cabeza:)
4. En cuanto sientas los primeros síntomas de un resfrio, empieza a tomar medicinas naturales / alternativas que están disponibles en las tiendas de productos organicos y naturales (siempre pregúntale a tu doctor antes de tomarlas):

– Oscillococcinum: http://www.oscillo.com/

– Sambucus: http://www.naturesway.com/Sambucus-Syrup-4-fluid-oz

– Airborne: http://www.airbornehealth.com/

5. Mantente activo – Trata de hacer ejercicio para mantenerte saludable físicamente y mentalmente
6. Lávate tus manos y la de tus nenes regularmente

Y tu que haces? Que te funciona para mantenerte a ti y tu familia sana durante el invierno?

How do we help develop healthy self-esteem in our children? I am still trying to figure it out, but many books advise trying the following:

1. Pay attention to what you tell your child – Ask yourself: Am I really encouraging them? Also, praise your child not only for a good job, but for the average one as well.
2. Be a role model – Try to be positive and encourage good behaviors and habits.
3. Clarify any assumptions your kid may make about him or herself. In other words, help them understand that they don’t need to be perfect, and don’t allow them to be condescending to themselves.
4. Try to be loving, caring, and patient with your child.
5. Organize healthy activities that help your child realize his or her potential (i.e. sports, art classes, music lessons, etc.).
6. Pay attention to their behavior and act accordingly to address any issues (bullying, etc.)
7. Try to be their friend and not only an authority figure.

What do you do? I have so much to learn…Please share your thoughts:)