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This is a tricky question and I am sure that many moms could have a lot to share. Here are 7 action items that have made a difference in my life:

1. Take care of myself first, so I can take care of others – This may sound selfish, but it is not and it has worked very well for me. This is what I mean: Take time for yourself  – read a book, call or meet a friend, go exercise, go for a spa treatment, meditate, write, continue your education, volunteer, work or pursue your goals, and do whatever gives you peace without interruptions from your kids and husband.

2. Pay or ask a family member or /and a friend for help – Yes, it is ok to ask for help! While the person of your choice is helping, you could: Go out on a date with your husband, have a friend’s night out, go to a spa, have some “me” time, attend a class, exercise, etc. Try to do this as often as possible.

3. Organize play dates and stay social – Whether you are working or not, I believe that it is very healthy for you and the kids to stay connected and social. You could always organize play dates with your kids’ school mates, attend b-day parties, and attend special events. If your kiddos are not going to school yet, you can always introduce yourself to other moms and organize activities / gatherings.

4. Try to do it, specifically if you are not feeling motivated – Staying active and engaged in positive activities with your kids is key for a healthy balance. Staying active keeps your mind and body healthy, so do your best to go out. Even if that means to just go to the park or a gym. Some of the best mommy friends that I have now are the ones I met at the park. Here is a list of tips that have helped me stay motivated and you may like to try:

-Educational classes with your community center, local library, and your town’s family events (try to check free classes from your state and town). Please check my page about classes and activities: https://happymomhappyfamilybymoms.com/classes-and-activities/

-Attend an exercise class such as Zumba with kids or any other one that gets you all moving

-Make a habit of reading positive books or informational materials that inspire you as a mother and woman

-Share your goals with family and friends and ask them to follow up on the progress of them to hold you responsible. In this way, a little pressure will encourage you to accomplish your goals

5. Check your health – Try to have a healthy diet, exercise, and schedule your routine health check-ups to make sure everything is all right. Sometimes, it may be that you just need some vitamins and good sleep to help increase your energy, so try to take care of your health the best you can.

6. Practice meditation, yoga, or a breathing exercise to help you relax – This point is specifically very important to me. It is important that whenever you can, you find some quiet time to recapitulate your day and meditate on how you can do things better. Perhaps, you can learn something new to continue to improve things.

7. Pray and be grateful – I believe in the power of praying very much. It just gives me so much peace. No matter who’s God you pray to, praying is just healthy. Also, being grateful is extremely positive to our bodies and mind. When you are greatful, you start appreciating the little things and the big things in life. And this action, creates a positive feeling that instantly makes you feel better.

What do you think?

 

 

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It took me two years to figure out some of the best steps to take to calm down my strong-willed 2 year old boy. During these two years, I read quite a few books on how to approach strong-willed children, and got advice from friends, family, and professionals. You name it; I tried it. In the end, I learned that there is no simple formula for addressing strong-willed kids. As many of these kids are reacting to all the new knowledge being given to them, expectations, and all the limitations they may encounter because of their very young age. Also, I noticed that some of these kids want to be big and strong, and they rebel at the fact that they are still physically little. Therefore, after some reflection on how to do things better as a parent, I have been following four key steps that have come handy: infinite patience, unconditional love, complete understanding, and adaptability.

1. With infinite patience: I now know that I can’t lose my temper when my little one is having a tantrum, and that common disciplinary actions do not really work well for him. Instead, I get down on my knees very slowly to be at his height and ask him what is wrong with the situation. This almost instantly, gets his attention and breaks the first wall by calming him down a bit. Then, I take my infinite patience skill and tell him in a very calm and soft voice that together we’ll figure things out.
2. With unconditional love: I give him a hug and tell him very softly that I love him very much and that I understand why he is upset. With unconditional love, he feels that I am understanding him, while I hope that this behavior creates an everlasting trust between he and I.
3. With complete understanding: Once I have gotten down on my knees and hugged him lovingly, I ask more questions about his feelings and tell him that it does not matter what happens, we can figure things together because I love him very much and want to help.
4. With adaptability: I combine what I already know with new information that continues to build a relationship of trust and empathy between the two of us.

While these little steps have worked for me lately, I am well aware that I have a lot to learn as my little one gets older, but I believe that we are getting a good start so far.

Let’s see…what do you think? What has worked for you? I am looking forward to learning more about what other mommies do with their strong-willed children.

En Español

Los Pasos que Tomo para Educar a mi Nene de Voluntad Firme

Me ha tomado casi dos años para realmente aprender cómo educar a mi niño de 2 años de voluntad firme. En estos dos años, he leído muchos libros, escuchado consejos de mi familia, amigos, profesionales, y cuanto más. Al final lo que aprendí es que no hay una fórmula secreta para educarlos o calmarlos, y que ellos realmente están reaccionando a tanta cosa nueva que los papas les están enseñando, a las expectativas, y a sus limitaciones físicas, ya que son muy chicos de edad. Es algo como cuando uno está chiquito y quiere ser grande y fuerte. Lo curioso es que estos nenes saben que todavía están chiquitos, y se rebelan ante su realidad. Es así que después de un poco de reflexión y el conocimiento que uno aprende como mama de todos lados, yo ahora estoy siguiendo unos pasos muy específicos. Estos pasos que aprendí durante el proceso de ser mama consisten de tener una paciencia infinita, un amor incondicional, una completa comprensión, y adaptabilidad.

1. Sobre paciencia infinita: Cuando el nene esta con un gran berrido, yo por lo general trato de hincarme y bajarme a su nivel físicamente, mientras que le digo muy cariñosamente y le pregunto qué es lo que está pasando. Esto casi instantáneamente lo calma, y ayuda a romper la primera muralla para calmarlo un poquito. Ya después, practico mi talento de paciencia infinita y le digo que juntos sabremos cómo resolver lo que está pasando con una voz llena de paz y tranquilidad.
2. Con un amor incondicional: Le doy un abrazo muy cariñoso y le digo que lo quiero mucho y que entiendo porque él está enojado. De esta forma yo le muestro empatía y comprensión, mientras que espero que con este comportamiento, yo establezca una relación infinita de confianza entre él y yo.
3. Con una comprensión completa: Ya después de haberme puesto de rodillas para estar a su nivel y haberle dado un abrazo, le digo que no importa lo que pase, que nosotros sabremos cómo resolver los problemas juntos porque lo queremos y deseamos ayudarlo.
4. Con adaptabilidad: Ya así, siempre trato de adaptar todo lo que he aprendido para educarlo mientras que agrego otras cosas nuevas que creo que van a ayudar para continuar creando una relación de empatía, amor, y confianza entre los dos. Sin embargo, estoy consciente de que tendré que cambiar mis pasos para educarlo, pero creo que estoy empezando por un buen camino al seguir algunos de estos pasitos. Vamos a ver que pasa…

¿Y ustedes, qué hacen? ¿Qué es lo mejor que les ha funcionado con niños de voluntad firme? Yo espero aprender mucho más sobre otras mamas y su sabiduría infinita. ¡Gracias!